Today I ran across an article that caught my attention, "Top 10 FBI Behavioral Unit Techniques for Building Rapport with Anyone" and I began thinking about classroom rapport.
When I was in the classroom, each year I would reflect on my class, and one of the things I always considered was the relationships. What did I do well? What could I have done better? What did not work at all?
What I learned from the reflective process was building rapport with your students can literally make or break your classroom management.
Here are my top 10 techniques for building rapport with students:
- Start the Year Out Right- Reach out before your students ever enter your classroom. Send a letter or postcard out letting them know that you are excited that they will be in your room this year, what they can expect the first couple days, some attributes about yourself, and what are some of the things you are looking forward to doing this year with them. When I started doing this, I saw a difference in the rapport immediately. I loved how excited my students were about getting the letter and enjoyed when I had kids that put that letter on the front cover of their binder. It felt like I had achieved ROCKSTAR status!
- Your Body Language Speaks Volumes- Little things like standing at the door welcoming them in. "So glad to see you today! Are you ready, because today will be a good day." Kids read your body language before you speak and it sets the tone. How you look, talk, and approach them matters. When they see you are ready to be there and ready for the day, the attitude becomes catching.
- Leave It In the Car- One of the things that stood out to me from the book "Kids Deserve It" was this statement. We have bad nights, issues outside of work, and at times adult issues even within the school. None of those things have anything to do with those kids in our rooms. We have to learn to separate ourselves from that because many of our kids have issues going on at home as well. In the morning, we must take a deep breath, let it go, and walk into the school ready to make the best of the day we have been given.
- Ask for Help- Allow students the opportunity to make the classroom and assignments their own. Find ways to empower by allowing them to help you create learning experiences, rubrics, and allowing opportunities for them to be creative as a team.
- Be Real- One of my favorite blogs is Tara M. Martin's R.E.A.L blog. She uses real as an acronym that derives meaning from the word and what it means to be real. R- Be relatable and reflective. E- Expose your vulnerable side. It is ok for them to see you make a mistake and show them that when you fail that you get back up again. A- Be approachable. People learn from people they feel comfortable communicating with, they are more likely to ask questions when unsure of how to find the answer and are willing to share their thinking if they feel valued. L- Learning alongside them. Share what you are learning or your interests with them and show them that learning is something we do throughout our lives.
- Validation Goes a Long Way- Thank them for their hard work, for opening a door, and helping another. Say sorry if you're wrong. Treat them the way you want to be treated. You are the lead learner in the room, which means you are the guide, but they need to feel like they are noticed, valued, and matter. After all, isn't that what we all want?
- Quid Pro Quo- Share funny stories and let them share with you!
- Manage Your Expectations- Identify each student's weaknesses and strengths but focus on how to help them build up those strengths while supporting them in developing the skills they need to succeed.
- Parents are Important- I once read that "Every parent sends you the best they have." That stuck with me. Always reach out to parents, call them and tell them the good you see. When things go awry, remind them that you know they have good expectations and you need their help to ensure the success of their child. When the parents know you care and know you are aware they are trying, it builds a bond.
- We May Be Their Person- Each child deserves someone that loves them. The key is to remember that the best love is the kind that directs them on the path to success. This means at times you have to put aside the child's story or past and focus on their potential future. Some call it tough love, I simply call my version love. Don't allow them to become a statistic or a victim but help them become the victor. I thank my childhood teacher's every day for that same love they gave me for it is what allowed me to be where I am today.
“A person who has good thoughts cannot ever be ugly... if you have good thoughts they will shine out of your face like sunbeams and you will always look lovely.”
― Roald Dahl, The Twits.
Barker, Eric. “Top 10 FBI Behavioral Unit Techniques for Building Rapport With Anyone.”Time, Time, 14 May 2014, time.com/98473/top-10-fbi-behavioral-unit-techniques-for-building-rapport-with-anyone/.